I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm passing your future prison.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There r osticjed everywhere
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
