So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
