Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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