i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Life is so much better after having sex.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
