dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
