i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
