The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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