I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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