i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
