Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
