On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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