no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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