Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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