omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
