We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
