Do you still have your period?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
