I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize