ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
