I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
