Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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