What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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