The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
