The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
