does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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