never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
