and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
