Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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