so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
