do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
