you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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