accomplished twins. life is a go
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
