yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
