FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
