so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
