some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm both gender and math confused
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
