I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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