That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
