did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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