I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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