i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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