did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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