if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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