as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
