I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
