is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
