remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
