Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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