sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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