it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
