go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
