What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
