Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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