My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
