ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
