Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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